Failure! The gingerbread women I baked fell prey to the crisp wiles of the gingerbread warriors. I can even now hear the tiny little crumbly sounds of them...doing...*gag*...it's unthinkable. Their little cookie bodies rubbing together behind the cabinets and...oh god. I can't go on.
My deepest fear is that my syster was right--what if gingerbread women can get knocked up? What exactly is the gestation period of a cookie? And my stars and garters, soon I'm to be up to my ankles in gingerbabies? NOOOOOOOOOO!