Sep 15, 2004

Man's best friend my left foot

Okay, where shall I begin.

I am just settling in from the trip, trusting my pda and sattelite uplink to keep this blog updated properly and not in Swahilli Butt-Signals or anything. I guess I'm going to have to be a little safer than usual, careful with my words so I can't be followed to my new place. The whole gingerbread incident caused me to have to relocate to **CENSORED**, as the house was uninhabitable and the police were really starting to get on my nerves, not to mention the fact that the listening devices were in every room and I was having to do a bug-sweep every morning just so I could let a few bees out of the hive. So, I've moved.

I am settling into a new apartment, a new lifestyle (ah, **CENSORED** Art--almost as unappreciated as black velvet painting!) and a new heat index. But life is good. I only have one gnawing concern: my neighbor's dog.

See, my new neighbor on **CENSORED** St. has this big German Shepherd dog. Rufus is his name (the dog, not the neighbor--his name is **CENSORED CENSORED**) and he's a nice dog, very sleek and well-groomed, a bit soft-spoken for a male dog but that's to be forgiven, considering he's **CENSORED** but something happened early this morning that really disturbed me. I had just gotten settled in my new bedroom, up in apt. # **CENSORED** and was in my room hanging things up, putting suitcases away, setting the **CENSORED** wires and scanners, and of course I had gotten rather filthy from all the moving and unpacking, so I took a shower. Well, it seems I hadn't realised it when I got in the shower, but I had forgotten and left the blinds open. Now keep in mind that the bathroom window happens to look down into the neighbor's yard. And Rufus the dog saw me naked, through the open window, when I stepped out of the shower.

I can still hear his shrill doggie laughter.

Today's colour: pink neon from the sign across the street that says "**CENSORED** Motor Lodge"
Today's scent: the smell of **CENSORED** off the desert
Today's word: **CENSORED**
Today's music: All I keep hearing is the jukebox playing at **CENSORED**'s Bar And Grill
Today's tele: I can only pick up one channel, **CENSORED** out of **CENSORED** so I guess it's going to have to be **CENSORED**


Amnesia said...

"I understand Women as well as oysters understand bicycle racing."

Are we really that hard to understand? It really is quite easy...when faced with a decision - decide what makes sense and choose the opposite - that is what we do.

Irrelephant said...

Ah, but if only it were so easy! See, now that you've told me the secret it's gone out on The Women's Short Wave Radio Network (or whatever it is you guys use to communicate with each other instanteously) that the secret has been given over, so it's now time to change to the NEXT plan. I was, however, able to use the information for about fifteen seconds to my advantage, so I count that as a major coup for Manhood everywhere!