Yep, it's official now. The cops think I am nuts. See, I called them yesterday evening, thinking there was no way I was gonna win. The little Keebler freaks cut my phone line before I could get the whole address to the cops, but I managed to get enough for them to find my house. Either that or they already had my lines tapped, and knew who I was. Me, I think it's a 50-50 chance either way.
I guess the little gingermonkeys saw the black and white roll up the driveway, and all ran and hid. I swear, it was like they had never been there. The cops came in and saw all the devastation in the house. I mean, you know, I had to take steps! Fight fire with fire! Start acting, not reacting, and other The Book of Five Rings stuff! I had already beat the stove to pieces with an axe to keep the gingermonsters from baking secondary troops. And the fridge had to go, naturally, so they couldn't keep any more of that cutsey little pink icing around to make bayonettes and mortars with, and to keep them from storing replacement troops. And I had to tear all the cabinet doors off so they would have less places to hide. And then there was the ill-fated exploration mission into the wainscotting, to see if I could find their C & C.
Well, the cops didn't understand why I had flour all over the floor, and when I told them it was so I could watch for footprints and tire tracks so I could see where they had started their supply lines, they looked at me kind of funny. It took quite a bit of convincing to get them to leave after that, let me tell you. Not even bribing them with Krispy Kremes and Jamacian-blend coffee worked.
Note to myself: don't try to bring anyone else in on this. They won't understand. And today is National Date Nut Bread Day, as well as Pardon Day. Me, I'm not a big Date Nut Bread sorta guy, but I for sure ain't about to Pardon this iced evil, so me, I'm going to the bakery.
Today's colour: black--the sun isn't up yet
Today's scent: fresh-baked death
Today's word: Nuts!
Today's music: Steely Dan -- My Old School
Today's tele: The Science Channel