Sep 7, 2004

When the oven is full, the cookies shall walk the Earth

Q: This may sound goofy, but are elephants really afraid of mice?

A: "Elephants really do shy away from some members of the rodent world...long-nosed pachyderms have no dread of mice, they just have crummy vision. Because an elephant's eyes are set on the sides of its enormously broad head, it is unable to focus at close range and thus is easily startled by small, unidentified objects skittering underfoot. Alarmed, it recoils its trunk and commences stomping."

Irrelephants, however, do not concern themselves with mice and small rodents (foreshadowing,) instead preferring to protect themselves from very crisp brown Shapes of Evil (current plot.)

Enough science! On with the psychoses.

Neither Rain Nor Snow Day indeed. If nothing else, it's Neither Powdered Sugar nor Brown Cookie Goodness Day. The Attack of the Living Dead Gingerbread Men has escalated. I caught them in the kitchen this morning trying to turn the oven on. They had a whole tray of raw gingerbread soldiers, all powdered up in their brown sugar uniforms, ready to be baked golden-brown and deadly. I scattered them with the broom (first thing I could get my hands on,) and fed all the little raw dough-warriors on the baking tray to the neighbor's dog, who was too excited to be eating sweets for him to really understand that I was using him as a canine Dachau.

Even as I sit here and write I still get shivers thinking about all those little black and red licorice bayonetts, and the tiny little fangs on their little round faces.

The horror.

The horror.


Today's colour: green--the colour of my neighbor's dog's teeth right now.
Today's scent: dog breath mixed with licorice. Not nice.
Today's word: cookie genocide. Yeah, I know it's two words, but whose blog is this anyway?
Today's music: Wagner's The Ring Cycle: Sigfried's Death and Funeral Music
Today's Tele: Too early for mind-rotting violence.

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