Oct 5, 2004

If you were curious

this is what I wrote this morning--

I like fish.

I like fish in a lot of ways. I like to sit in a boat and try to trick them into biting a patently fake lure. I like this because it's a challenge to capture something that you can't see. I also like the long hours spent outside in peaceful surroundings.

I like to eat the stupider ones, the ones who fell for the patently fake lures I carefully presented to them. Their only fault is that they were born stupid and delicious.

I even like to keep them in big glass boxes around my house. Not the eating kind, they get too big. And not the stupid kind (at least I don't think they're too stupid,) because I don't sit on my desk with a rod and reel trying to trick them into eating little tiny plastic bloodworms or brine shrimp. I refer here to the tropical ones, the more decorative types, like Neon tetras.

Neon tetras are, by grace of their genetic calling, middle-feeders, which is to say that in capital "N" Nature, where they live many feet deep in Amazon river basins they don't come to the top for food, because that's where small, bright-red and electric-blue fish BECOME food. My Neons, however, and my Emperor and Lemon tetras (all middle-water fish) have Learned Better than their genetic preprogramming. They have learned that when The Great Black Rectangle of The Sky opens, food will be immediately forthcoming, and furthermore any little fish brave enough to shrug off centuries of cellular memory and genetic predisposition to swim to the top when food rains down from On High will get the Lion's Share, and as such will soon become big, fat and sassy, and get all the girls.

In the space of a month I have single-handedly derailed thousands ofyears of natural selection and evolution. Rockin'!


See what you would have were going to miss perhaps?

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