Oct 18, 2004

The monkeys, they don't "do it," they "make love."

Okay, so I went to the zoo yesterday. The pressures of home and job and everything finally came to a head, and so I took some time off. Hopped on the bike, and took off. Got to the zoo, figuring "What harm can happen at a ZOO?"

Boy oh boy, was I in for a shock.

Monkeys. Nature's little humans, eh? Ouch. I was so wrong about them. I mean, I was sitting there on a park bench, minding my own business, watching all the big monkeys beating up the little monkeys, when several of the smallest ones crept off to one side and signaled me over. Well, I snuck over there, and one of them revealed their plan to me.

Seems they had bribed the zookeeper with promises of willing women and large quantities of Cuban cigars, and he had agreed to open the cage. They spelled out their entire master plan to me. I guess I have an honest face. But WOW! These guys have it all! Biological weapons, computer launch control systems, heavy transportation, WMD's and secret identities. AND opposable thumbs!

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