Jan 8, 2005

And the winner is...

Yesterday, my wife and two of my cats, Egan and Delilah won their Mousing Badges. The apprehension and devouring of small lizards, skinks or flying insects does not apply toward this badge, as each subclass has it's own badge (Capturing Green Scampery Things, Capturing Blue Scampery Things, and Capturing Erratically Flying Things.) The Mousing Badge applies specifically to the capture (devouring optional) of mice and small rodents. My wife and both cats in question are already holders of the three abovementioned badges, my wife having received hers before the age of 5 for her advanced field work with anoles and ladybugs.

**As a brief aside, living in the country as we do, surrounded by very large cultivated fields makes this a prime territory for rodents of all shape and size, and mice and rats have always been a problem. At this point I'm not going to be surprised when I see a kangaroo or a jerboa walk out of one of those fields, or when I find a capybara lurking around my baseboards one day.

I was awake fairly early yesterday morning, and while preparing my breakfast I noticed Delilah spending an inordinate amount of time around the microwave oven. I knew she wasn't trying to earn her Microwaving Breakfast Burritos Badge, because she is ineligible for it (no thumbs) so I knew something was up. Moving the microwave (no mean feat, I had to unearth it first) she immediately pounced and came back up with a grey/brown blob in her mouth, and absconded with it, with Egan in close pursuit. In a few minutes I heard my wife stirring, and realised that they had unwisely released it underneath the bed where she was sleeping.

After a few false starts and one true one (I had to move a framed picture so they could get to it again) the cats cornered it in the master bathroom, and since the missus was getting tired of all the cheering and crashing about and the insistent calls of the papparazzi, she removed said beast to the driveway where she dispassionatly dispatched it with one of my shoes. I willingly forwent the "devouring" stage of the badge in respect to the two cats because it had been removed outside of their domain and in my wife's case because she's a vegan.

So it is with great honor today that I present Egan, Delilah and my wife with their Mousing Badges and certificates, to be displayed with great pomp and circumstance, and whose offices should be exercised as often as possible, because I'm tired of finding small scampery grey things in my house whose sole purpose seems to be leaving small scampery thing poo in my cutlery drawer.

Long Live The Queen.

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