May 11, 2005

Excuse me, I've got something on my hand.

It's long been my firmly held belief that dealing with a mouth-breathing semi-literate shitkicker redneck is like trying to pat a mad dog.

Patting a Mad Dog: A How-To Manual.

Step 1: Approach the dog in a friendly manner.
Step 2: Observe the tail wagging.
Step 3: Reach out your hand toward the dog's head in a non-threatening manner.
Step 4: Stroke the dog on top of the head, paying careful attention to keep your movements slow and gentle.
Step 5: Remove your hand from the dog's clamped jaws by using the free hand to grasp the dog's windpipe, applying enough pressure that the flow of air is cut off.
Step 6: Observe the dog's tail wagging.
Step 7: Obtain medical advice and assitance.

It has long been my firmly held belief that dealing with any animal that is a danger to itself or to others is to kill it in a humane manner, before it can endanger itself or others. This is usually best accomplished with a small caliber bullet to the brain. It is fast, and humane in it's effects. It also leaves very little mess if done right.

I get so very sick of people sometimes. There is nothing you can do about them, to make matters worse. A mad dog can be shot and buried. A person, on the other hand, most times no matter how offensive, has to be left to their own devices, even if they are endangering themselves or others by their actions.

My older daughter told me about a wreck that a blue-haired old lady got into yesterday on the highway outside the office. Four cars involved, four ambulances, fire trucks, and no telling how many people dead. All because this octgenarian got her driver's license in the mail. It's her right to drive, even if she's endangering others. Which she did yesterday. I don't know if there were any fatalities, but I'm certain there had to be injuries.

And yes, I'll volunteer to be the problem fixer. I'm to that point.

But hey--just my opinion.


Anonymous said...

10 . . . 9 . . . 8 . . . 7 . . . 6 . . . 5 . . . 4 . . . . .thuh-reeeeeeee . . . . . . . twoooooooo . . . . . . . oh, F, pull the trigger, rid us all of the said person mentioned earlier and decrease the literacy rate by one tenth of a percentage point! I'm sorry this happened, I really am. I feel bad about every bit of it and I wish I wasn't here right now. Our boss referred to this as "growing pains" . . . I hope he's right.

Old Grey Mare said...

Well some people are fortunate enough to receive their license in the mail & I'm one of them. Don't hate me, this ole grey mare went through hell to get here. Some of us old people are able to drive quiet well thank you.... it might not have been her/his fault. You know the young ones some time might be the "cause" of all the problems... It took a lot of years & a lot of "learned from experence" to get to this time in point. Give "us" a break.

renegade said...

And sometimes it doesn't matter if they go in person to get their license. Say, for example, the fucker that hit Michael. I'll give you his address after the case is settled.