This means that all you folks who skip over my long posts can breathe a sigh of relief over your coffee--Irrelephant is up to his wrinkled ears in Things To Do Before Leaving For Work. And good news for those of you who like to see me angry.
Resident Mouth Breather -- don't you EVER think you can outsmart or outthink me. Don't think you can show me anything, don't bother to raise your pale ugly face to me if you believe that you can somehow be my better. You brought me a dirt dauber on the palm of your hand yesterday at work and showed it to me and talked to me like I was an 8 year old. You mouth-breathing pasty-ass inbred profoundly offensive slack-jawed gap-toothed splay-footed cousin-humping mental pigmy.
For your information, that is if there's room for it in your tiny brain, I know what a dirt dauber is. I know which ones don't sting, and which ones will. I know the difference between a paper wasp and a dirt dauber, and I even know how to kill them with things other than canned poison. My father taught me those things and more, and I surely don't need your feeble-minded attempts at teaching. I'm not so profoundly stupid as you, and I don't need to be taught by the likes of you. If I wanted to be taught I'd go and find someone who CAN teach me, and by teaching I don't mean speaking to me like I'm some sort of child who has to have his hand held while he potties and be shown how to wipe. There are at least two people in that office right now who can and DO teach me, sometimes on a daily basis, and let me assure you that YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM, nor will you ever be. Their attentions are welcome, yours are not.
My stars and garters woman, I cannot believe you have room in your thick skull to think that you could possibly tell me something that I don't know, unless it's how to live so far out in the woods that normal people no longer throw garbage and stones at you and no-one points fingers and laughs, or how to wallow in every drama that comes along, or how to stick my nose into everyone else's business around me. I cannot believe you have the intellectual ability to be that egotistical.
My father used a saying when he knew beyond a doubt that someone was worthless -- "They're not worth the powder and shot to blow them to Hell." I think that easily encompasses you, RMB, so do us all a big favor and sod off.