Jun 7, 2005

In the future, all Mankind will share one mind.

Everyone says "Hi."

I love that joke.

So anyway, let's move on.

It's long been a favourite theme of science fiction that humans will eventually share a group mind. Either that or there are indescribable aliens out there intent on destroying us and taking our women who have a hive mind and it's their downfall. In the limitless landscape of science fiction, this is a marvelous thing to try and comprehend. In reality? It'd knock all life into a cocked hat.

If we were to suddenly be given the power to share a group mind, would we all suddenly reach some sort of all-encompasing Enlightnment, to realise that all people everywhere share our same hopes and dreams and fears? No. We'd realise that having a group mind would be just like the Internet--on one end you'd have the complete and utter loonies who think the government is spraying us with toxic chemicals for their own demented ends, and on the other end you'd have the few truly intelligent people who have their heads on straight but can't manage to match a tie to a pair of slacks.

And in the middle you'd have the Great Unwashed Common Man. You'd have billions of completely incorrect factoids, you'd have hearsay, conjecture, and outright disinformation. You'd have people desperate to know what Brittney Brittney is wearing this weekend at the Gala Premier, and you'd have overweight Mountain Dew swilling pubescent boys in their basements fretting over whether 9 or 10 d20's will be enough for next week's SuperMegaElectroGeekCon5000. And through all this you'd have to wade, to find the little tiny bit of information you really want--how much vanilla extract you need so you can make that killer cookie recipe your grandmother always served on Sunday afternoons.

It's a wonder we don't all collapse right now from the weight of our own banality.

I sometimes entertain myself (?) by surfing blogs. Blogspot has that handy little "Next Blog" hyperlink up there by which you can surf randomly through all the blogs that they host, and that's an awfully large mound of horse shit to be digging through if you're hoping to find a pony. Granted, I've found a few horseshoes, and once I found a nice bridle, but no pony yet. I'm sure it's there, I've just got to keep digging.

So back to the group mind. Do you really want everyone in the known world to know what you're thinking? All the time, without fail? It might keep crime down, since everything you planned not only would be published out there for anyone to see but you'd also have the benefit of all the accumulated knowledge of all the folks who have tried it and failed already, so you could see where you're going to go wrong before you even go. And things like sneaking out of the dorm after dark to enjoy a little ass grab/titty squeeze would certainly be curtailed, because not only would your intentions be immediately apparent to anyone who cared but you'd also have to witness the memories of your own folks doing the same thing when they were your age, and if there's no more effective control to messing about than seeing your parents messing about then I'm a regal monkey.

So you see, I think we've pretty much put to rest the idea that a Group Mind would be the answer to all our problems. I think it's pretty obvious that we simply need to get a good grip on ourselves, hike ourselves up by our own bootstraps, and abolish this thing called "the Internet" because it's only a cesspool filled by millions of people who firmly sincerely believe that if only they can prove to 1000 people that Bigfoot is their baby daddy then Jaizus will personally arrive with a check from Microsoft (who has been monitoring your email forwarding activities) and Bill Gates and you will ascend to a resort spa where if you're a guy you will have a permanent errection and if you're a girl you'll be 18 forever and you'll lavish each other with overseas stock investments that are guaranteed to double your money for all eternity.

Obviously the answer is simple: one ruling Overmind.

2 comments:

Vulgar Wizard said...

I will do the brain's bidding . . . I will do the brain's bidding . . . I know my limitations . . . I will do the brain's bidding.

Old Grey Mare said...

I think that I will always never wear socks & forget the tie..... lookes stupid with my grey pony tail.