Aug 25, 2005

Jesus saves - and takes half damage!

I know that's completely off topic, but it's still terribly funny, especially if you're an old D&D geek from way back.

Today's topic is: Idiots In The Workplace.

Yesterday something happened that made me embarrassed to be a part of my office. As you might recall, we had a corporate auditor in. We do a great deal of medical billing out of our office, and since the gubberment is very interested in making sure that everyone does things correctly in the Medicare/Medicaid realm, the company likes to send our own auditors around to make sure each office is on track before the state blunders in and finds errors. So, we had a nice young lady in from corporate yesterday, sitting in our conference room buried under a pile of patient charts.

I knew she was coming in, so I had spent the morning prepping myself mentally--be cheerful, be helpful, make a good impression that she could bring back to corporate with her, and stay out of her way otherwise. Easy stuff, done it a thousand times. And most of the day went blisteringly well. Vulgar Wizard is very good at her job, and part of her job is medical billing. The auditor even complimented her on the fact that one of the most twisted jobs of billing she had ever seen (four different disciplines on a single patient, sometimes four visits in a day) was done 100% correctly. We were not surprised. *S*

So. Things went terribly awry, of course. Around 2ish RMB's bull-dyke daughter comes stomping up the front porch, walks into the front door, and without a single word stomps into the copy/fax room where RMB works and closes the door, and voices start up in a tiff.

Uhm...hello, you don't work here. You aren't anybody here. What the fuck are you doing closing doors in our office?

Both VW and I saw it, but what was worse was that the auditor saw it. The boss finally got in there and ended it, but the damage was done. I could just her the auditor now, back at the corporate office, saying things like "Yes, it's a nice place, but they seem to always have some sort of family drama going on." Oh yes, that's the way to win respect and influence with your home office.

So RMB's dyke stomps out, would have slammed the door if it wasn't on a pneumatic closer, and RMB starts walking around like nothing has happened. The auditor asked VW and the boss later if we were having some sort of family problems. I'm glad I wasn't in there, because if I had been I think I might have had to kill the cause.

By everything I hold dear I hate rednecks. I hate people who think that it's acceptable to bring your twisted, incestuous, mouth-breathing, backward-ass hick life into the workplace. I hate shitkickers who think that it's acceptable to walk into an office like you own the place, close the door to an office that we all have to use (the copy machine, the fax machine and the postage machine are all in there) and start fighting with your sub-moronic parent, from whose rotten and syphyllitic womb you sprang, like a maggot from a corpse.

Yeah, that's a bit much. Can't be helped, I wish the entire family of them would wander out into the interstate during a 14 car pileup.

There are times when I could happily line the lot of them up and stone them to death.

I'd pay good money to be allowed to chemically castrate the whole bleeding lot of them.

I wouldn't piss in RMB's mouth if her gums were on fire.

If brainpower were electricity her whole family wired together at the temples might be able to just register on a circuit tester.

She's not worth the powder and shot to blow her to hell.

So why do I get so pissed at the Daily Drama that she incites? I guess because I care about my company and my job too much, and want to see it operate in a timely, effective manner. Call it a character flaw.


Old Grey Mare said...

I feel that it is admirable to want the "family" office atmosphire to reflect the peace & harmony of a well working machine. If that can not be then GET RID OF THE UNNEEDED/UNWANTED COGS IN THE WHEEL!

Vulgar Wizard said...

That is our goal, and has been since about January of this year (pre-Irrelephant). I don't have the power to hire/fire or she'd be long gone. I don't care about being nice anymore. She's a complete idiot . . . poof, be gone!

icepoppy said...

Just wanted to say thanks for writing something interesting. I clicked next 20 times before finding something to make my lunch out worth the trip home. I work at a bank..... same crap with the auditors. We currently gearing up for next month's crack down. Should be a joyous experience.

Irrelephant said...

Old Grey Mare, you already got the direct email on that one--I long for the day that Upper Management wakes up and shakes off the fear of repercussions and DOES THE DAMNED JOB THEY'RE PAID FOR. *s*

I don't need to respond to Munchkinn/Vulgar Wizard because I was standing in her office when she wrote that. *S* We bitch about it about twelve times a day.

Icepoppy, I'm glad you enjoyed, and thank you for the compliment! Glad I could brighten your day. And I know what you mean about clicking that Next button...when I was new to blogging I used to surf thru them that way, and it seemed all I could reach was foreign language blogs, blogs from 8 year old girls, and political broadcasts from both extremes. Leave it to me to be one of the six people on all of Blogger to be Non-Political, Non-Foreign, and Non-Young.

Porkchop said...

Thanks for the comment... totally made me laugh through the tears.

Irrelephant said...

Hang in there, Porchop. I promise it can't get much worse. Unless a tornado gets loose in your dealership, or a flock of seagulls.

*singing* And I ran, I ran so far away....

jimmmer said...

HA! I used to LOVE that song.

Oops, did I say that out loud?

Good post. I worked for a family company too. The boss, his wife, her brother, and me.

I lasted 6 months.

Irrelephant said...

I did the family company thing once, and it was utter misery. This office is less of a blood family and more a family by people that care for each other, but still and all, beggars and choosers, eh?