Oct 12, 2005

NPR Approved Filthy

Has anyone else noticed that NPR is broadcasting pure and utter filth, cleverly disgusied as an informative space/science show?

Attend me: There is a one minute filler show that plays mornings on my local NPR station, called, oddly enough, "Stardate." Sounds rather like they're setting these eagerly-listening geeks for some sort of Star Trek vegetable woman green-skinned lady dancing or something. It's filthy, pure and utter pornography for the geeks and scientifically-oriented listening audience, and it's being broadcast out in the open by the filth-mongers at your local public radio station. It was by purest chance that I realised that fact this morning, while listening to an episode on black holes.

It's bad enough that the show is hosted by a sultry-voiced lady. And she's not just sultry-voiced in that 'come hither' bedroom sort of way; it's more the voice of a twenty-something nymphomaniac librarian in a tight black skirt, horn-rimmed glasses and a severe hair bun who you just KNOW is ready to leap across the Reference Desk and give you such a filing as you'd never forget. To make matters worse, her name is "Sandy Wood." I don't know about you, but to me that nom de plume sounds suspiciously like the stage name of a 70's blue-movie star, like Marilyn Chambers or Christy Canyon. Not quite the glaringly obvious, but enough. I'll say no more.

And honestly, could they be at least a little circumspect with their broadcast material? How much more obviously smutty could you be than to use the term "black holes" where young persons can hear it? I mean honestly, they're always on about things being sucked into black holes, and the birth of planets, matter being exploded all about, binary stars, you name it and they've broadcast about it, and I tell you it's all purest smut, cleverly disguised.

Only not clever enough. I've broken through their wall of secrecy, and plumbed the depths of their depravity.

For those of you with a taste for the obscene, Stardate can be found on the web at http://www.laspace.lsu.edu



2 comments:

Jennifer said...

Between this and the "pecker" post, your'es tarting to sound like me. Congratulations ..... and who needs sleep?!?!

Okay, the verify word is mnwnw ... um, I'm slightly dyslexic and that took me about an hour to make sure I got right (okay, not an hour, but a whole minute)

Vulgar Wizard said...

Dude, your mind is in the gutter entirely too much this week. It's not suitable for the workplace, and thus, I must ask you to refrain from listening to this program on a daily basis. What you do on your own time is your business, just don't bring it to the office, m'kay?

lddmd