Nov 4, 2005

It's All Downhill From Here, Charlie Brown

I don't know about you, but the week surrounding Hallo'een is one of the more distressing ones for me. You see, right around that time you can, if you look carefully, see New Years Day. It's that damned close.

And the thing is, once you pass Hallo'een the stores are suddenly bedecked in Xmas stuff, the radio stations all start playing "Silent Night" every quarter of an hour, the city goes and hangs all those cheerful banners on the light poles, and people start practicing to carol at you. It's one long downhill slide to The End, with the only thing standing between you and 2006 but one day of eating so much turkey and dressing that all you want to do is go somewhere quiet and explode.

Oh yes. It's that time of year again. It's Downhill Time. There is something about this time of year, all the preparations and the houseguests and the feasting and the running out of money and the worries that this will be The Smallest Christmas Ever that simply takes the wind out of my sails. Granted I've been getting better. Getting out of a retail toy store, ooh, almost a decade ago has helped. My mood would have been considerably darker right now if this were two or three years ago. Nothing can ruin a man (or a woman) like spending six Christmases in a row in a stinking retail store, running around like a madperson while other madpeople race around trying to spend all their money and then filling their credit cards for their insufferably pathetic little offspring.

Whoa. A little extra vitriol, at no extra charge.

I enjoy the season, I do. Fall is a beautiful time of year to me, all the cool weather and the change of seasons, the crisp touch in the air, and the eating. Oooh, the eating. It just distresses me that before I know it it'll be 2006, and I'll likely be trying to recover from a marathon drunk. Time has slipped into high gear, and the roadway is straight. It'll be over before I know it, and the next'll be so far away it won't even be visible for months to come.

Ah, Toys Backward R Us. What you've done to me. You barstard.


Vulgar Wizard said...

No, it's We Be Games An' Shit, remember?

Jennifer said...

The only thing worse than retail, is what my brother-in-law is subjected to - working at a casino ON Christmas Day :(

Irrelephant said...

We Be Sellin' Toys N S**t. *lol*


"I don't want to throw up/
I'm a Toys R Us Kid/
Every time I put something up/
you take it down and play with it!"