Nov 26, 2005

I've Become That Blogger

You know That Blogger, the one that always posts late, or who used to be so good at updating regularly, like clockwork, and here of late they've gotten kinda lax. Yeah, I've become That Blogger.

So, for your reading pleasure--an account of My Saturday Thus Far. Yup, I can just HEAR you guys panting with eager anticipation. Just can't wait, can you. Okay, here we go.

The wife being out grocery shopping, I decided this morning was a good time to do a little cleaning. The weather is holding out cloudy in preparation for the rainstorm coming later this evening but the breeze is up good, so I opened the house up, and naturally, noticed once again that the back window in the den wasn't very clean, and was missing it's screen. What to do? Alone in the house, cleaning on my mind--Generic Wal-Mart Glass Cleaner and paper towels to action!

Wanted: full-time house cleaner to do windows, nothing else. When my father built this house, he and the other parent wanted big windows, and that's what they got. Six foot tall twenty-pane windows, and they put 'em all over. No problem, until you come to cleaning day. I went through half a roll of paper towels just trying to get into each little mold and dust-covered pane, then had to go over the whole thing again just to get the streaks off. Damned Wal-Mart products. I was standing there in the yard, proud of myself, working the kinks out of my back when I realised that I was only half through--I had forgotten that windows have TWO sides.


So inside, sweep up the cobwebs and dust, then go through the rest of the roll of Brawny to clean. I've heard that newspaper works far better than paper towel for window cleaning but I don't read so we don't have newspapers lying around. Ah well.

Window cleaned, I had to find the screen. You think that a three foot wide, five foot tall window screen would be hard to misplace. You'd be surprised. I finally found the purloined screen in the last place I looked--the attic, over Rita's head. Naturally. Found the ladder, which I had conveniently left in the garage for...uhm...just that purpose, and started dragging down screenery. That's when I realised why they were up there and not on the house--the frames were all a little...uhm...askew.

Ah well, nothing but a puddle for a high stepper, right? Bare hands and careful tension put one's frame into rough repair, I trotted it over to the back den window and carefully inserted it. Careful application of a hammer and a handfull of nails made sure it was tight against the window frame, and voila, another window that I could open, thereby allowing all six cats to come a'runnin', since a newly opened window might possibly lead into a different universe, where fish are fat and slow and catnip grows on bushes, or perhaps it was that magical Door Into Summer that they've all heard about.

Scattering cats, I moved on to other, more important things: the last of the laundry. Oh yes, my confusion over Thursday being Saturday put me in a laundry mood pretty shy of the weekend itself, so laundry was nearly finished this morning. Oh glorious day! One last load to wash, and being in the laundry room reminded me by scent that the cat box needed changing, which made me think of a cats digestive process which then in sequence made me remember that I needed to fill Fiona's bowl with kitten chow, which will be eaten by all the adult cats while she eats their Adult Formula Very Expensive Stuff, so walking into the kitchen to fill the food bowls I was reminded that I needed to be sure not to forget to feed the three outside cats, so stepping outside to fill Mamie's bowl I was reminded that I hadn't put the ladder or the spare screens away, which I did, which knocked all sorts of dust and dead insects down, which made me realise that I hadn't swept the garage in a week or more, so I did.

And that's how Thanksgiving Day swept my garage for me, Billy. Now go play in traffic.



Well I read the paper so I have a bunch of them..... I don't do windows so I could use a "helper" myself. Hope the Irrelephant family had a wonderful Thanksgiving. The old Mare just snuggled down in the hay for a wonderful day herself.


Vulgar Wizard said...

What do you mean you don't read? Whatever!

Did you post this entire entry as the old man? Billy?

OMG! Check out the word verification they gave me: kevmr


VW - of course I read! I wouldn't miss an Irrelephant blog for the world.... I don't do windows at all, you could tell that if you looked at my storm door. The girls never let it stay clean so why bother..... nose prints everywhere.