It has been forcibly brought to my attention that I am not blogging enough. Not nearly as much as I used to. In response, I plead kittens, lack of sleep, old age, the weather, my wooden leg, and stark raving madness, onset as early as last month.
If you've been watching the time stamps on my post (and I don't know why you would, I certainly don't) you'll have noticed that the previous few months have times that run from 6 am to no later than 7:30 or thereabouts. Regular as clockwork, and that's how I was blogging. Regular-like. Well, for various reasons that time has slipped, and the time stamps are now all over the court, like a drunken Michael Jordan under the influence of two different Nike shoes, a pair of briefs two sizes too small, and a healthy dose of freebase cocaine.
Or something like that.
And my defense? Sleep. To sleep, perchance to get up in time to blog. Aye, there's the rub. After months of getting up at 5:30 in the morning every morning, setting myself into a firm rut (which is where I'm usually quite comfortable, thank you) I realised that 5:30 in the morning is BLOODY F-ING EARLY! My body wasn't adjusting to the change, in fact it was flat refusing to adjust to it. By the end of the week I was a zombie, and on the weekends my 5:30 alarm clock ended up later and later, until it hit the unthinkably late hour of 9, and I freaked out. Ran around the house in my robe screaming about time, ended up dashing myself into the big picture window in the dining room seven or eight times, until I finally concussed myself and passed out.
I was tired. All the freaking time. From getting up too early. So, things had to change. I gained half an hour of sleep, lost that half hour of blogging time, and since the schedule here is tighter than a nun's g-string it ended up in sort of a free-fall, landing where it might, a dandelion fluff on the wind looking for a nice yard to alight on.
I tried blogging from work in the early mornings before the phone is unrolled, but there's not enough time there to blog in the manner to which I've become accustomed to, since I also have to reset the a/c temps, make hot water for tea, turn the radio on, and become possessed by the need to start working again on whatever project I left last night because I feel guilty and that damned Protestant Work Ethic hits me square in the lizard-brain and off I go at 7:40, logging in and starting into yesterday evening's paperwork.
And naturally with RMB gone all those moments and seconds I had free in the day, which I could string together into several hours of fruitful slacking have been taken up by the need to do her job too, which is a lot of fun now, aggravating sometimes, and still a painful learning experience, but it's coming together, but the offshoot of that is that I have ZERO free time at work now, except that which I make at lunch, and that's usually consumed (no pun intended) by a book and a ham on wheat with some mozarella sticks and a bag of chips.
So you see, I do enjoy being here. I enjoy making you guys smile, laugh, scratch your heads, scratch your arses, and say "Whaaa?" to yourself when you get to one of THOSE passages. This is a necessary outlet for me, and one I don't get to use as often as I used to, but rest assured we have all our technicians working on it right now, with full intent to restore your service to you as soon as possible. We know you have a choice in blog providers, and we thank you for choosing Irrelephant dot blogspot dot com. Plese continue to hold for the first available operator.
*SNAPclick crackle crackle*
*...the girl from Ipanema goes walking past...*