Help Wanted: Single male, mid 20's, good grooming habits, must be hungry at all times, will perform simple eating tasks to prevent leftovers from piling up in our refrigerator. Call 793-FOOD after 5pm.
When I had single male friends, we never had extra food in the house. And we always had well-fed bachelor friends. When I was a bachelor I'm certain I performed the same service for married friends of mine, because I remember visiting a lot. And now that all my male friends have gotten married (that'd be one) or been kicked out for being utter asses (that'd be a couple) we suddenly have the most urgent need for a chest-style freezer, at least 8 or 10 cubic feet would be nice.
Please hurry, I can't afford a freezer.