Feb 9, 2006

Tell Us A Story, Vulgar Wizard And Irrelephant...

Vulgar Wizard: One upon a time,
Irrelephant: in a land so far away that they hadn't even come up with a name for how far away it was,
VW: there lived a woman named "Poop Shoe."
Irr: She was a very pretty woman, but she had a peculiar smell.
It seems that the very evil Cankle Queen emptied her chamber pot upon Poop Shoe's person, causing her shoes to fill with refuse. 
Now this upset Poop Shoe very deeply, but never one to stay depressed for long she took a hormone pill and a Lexapro out of her purse, washed them both down with a generous swig of gin and tonic, and squished and squelched her way to her mighty chariot.
Suddenly, wings sprouted on the heels of her poopy shoes, and she began to fly high above the Kingdom of the Cankle Queen.
She flew and she flew for hours, high above the Cankle Kingdom, dripping moist chunklets of poop onto the heads of all the followers and admirers and oh so numerous (and foul) lovers of the Cankle Queen.
Suddenly, Cankle Queen shouted to the heavens, "Why hast thou shat upon my soul?!?!?" 
In response, the beautiful and gentle-hearted Poop Shoe shook off an unusually generous portion of poop which fell with the force of a big stinky rock and landed **KER-SPLAT** right in the Cankle Queen's cattle-gap of a mouth.
"Mmmph urrfff bmmmmpt murrrrmm," Cankle Queen loudly mumbled, but it was too late; Poop Shoe was far away, and the crowd of loyal subjects howled at and mocked the Queen.
While the Cankle Queen muttered and mumbled around her bulging mouth-full of human excrement, Poop Shoe's loyal and lovely friend Sexy Shoes and her loyal and handsome friend Beat Up Boots brought out a cart full of worm-filled human dung and began shouting at the top of their lungs "Get your free filth here!  Filth for the flinging right here!"
Poop Shoe declined the offer, for she had been served more than her fair share of filth that day, and instead flew home to enjoy many martini's with her new beau, Glass Slipper Man.
The End.



er...right whatever he said.


Stolen Penguin said...

Shoes suck. They'd cover up my cute socks. ^-^