Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
Department of Motor Vehicles
19249 Pissoir Ave.
Lower Slobovia, LA
Re: Restoration of driving priveliges
To Whom This May Concern:
On the 21st of February this year, I was accosted on the motorways of this great state of ours by a jack-booted hooligan who claimed to be a State Trooper. This thug made several disparaging comments concerning my parentage, my vehicle, and my driving ability, and then proceeded to write a total of seventeen tickets concerning my operation of said motor vehicle (a 1943 Nash Roadster convertible, license # 1P00NK7) and then proceeded to impound my vehicle.
I wish to complain most sincerely that I was entirely in the correct by operating my vehicle on the sidewalk, as the road was torn up for construction and it was only by inadvertant misadventure that I drove through the multiple water-filled barrels and orange-striped roadblocks. I am prepared to testify that I never saw the large "Bridge Out Ahead" sign.
Furthermore, I find myself in a large iron kettle over medium heat, with some shallots, anchovies, salt and vinegar, and extra virgin olive oil.
Arthur J. Prawn, M7