Apr 29, 2006

Stropping The Razor

I often complain about email's limitations, specifically that you can't see the receiver's face, and that it seems to strip away a lot of the humanity of a person if you don't know them or if they're just a rotten speller or couldn't punctuate their way out of a run-on sentence, but there are times that email is eminently suited for stropping the razor of one's mind.

For instance, silly word games.

This is the text of an email that VW and I bounced back and forth for a fair part of an hour one afternoon:

(VW) Thiiiiinks!
(IRR) Hey, that's what I'm here for.
(VW) Kay, now fetch me a mug of beer.
(IRR) You want that in a a frosted or a warm mug?
(VW) in a a frosted mug......
(IRR) Domestic or import
(VW) both . . . a suicide brew.
(IRR) Microbrew or house?
(VW) house, I guess.
(IRR) clean or dirty mug?
(VW) clean!!!!! ew. and a coaster with my name engraved on it.
(IRR) Full name or just first and last?
(VW) M Prawn 7.
(IRR) Would that be Mister or Missus?
(VW) It would be El Conquistador M Prawn 7.
(IRR) Plain script or choice of font?
(VW) comic sans.
(IRR) Bold or italics?
(VW) Nevermind, this is too hard.
OH, goodie, the brown terd boy is here with his stench.
Did you sign as Wilt Chamberlin?
Did he pick up my package?
(IRR) Okay, so that's a suicide brew house brand in a clean frosted mug and the engraved coaster with "El Conquistador M Prawn 7" in Comic Sans font, house option of bold or italics. Will that be all?
(VW) What? Who is this? Hello???
(IRR) Sorry, we're fresh out. What would you like to drink with that salad?
(VW) You J@CK@SS!!!!!

1 comment:

Vulgar Wizard said...

Damn, you, Scuba Steve!!!!