Jul 31, 2006

Anal Foliage Insertion And Too Many Tentacles

Okay, so this week started off nicely--I nearly fell out of the window at 6am.

See, I woke up with the alarm at 6am, as usual, but this morning instead of just slugging out of bed and stumbling to the bathroom I stopped for a moment to stretch. I don't usually stop en route, but I guess I slept crooked last night. Facing the bed, hands on the waist-high mattress, I gave a big, soul-satisfying stretch. Big enough that my blood pressure, already naturally low and lower because I had just gotten up, dropped drastically. Like, to nothing. My head spun, my knees went week, and I started stumbling wildly around in the 2' width betwixt the wall and my side of the bed. I think I yelped a little bit when when I realised I was falling, I know I yelped when I realised that the possibility of me falling out of the bedroom window was looming powerful large in my future.

MD: "So tell me again, Mr. Irrelephant, how you managed to get an entire azalea bush rammed up your arse?"
Irr: "Well, you see, Doc, I was stretching..."


Moscow News: When Russian President Vladimir Putin agreed to do an internet only interview, Russian online users suggested 162,000+ questions for him. He answered 40. In the webcast he declared that the United States is "one of our main partners in the world," but dodged questions about when he lost his virginity, whether he'll legalize marijuana, and 3,000 people who wanted to know when Cthulhu, a fictional monster octopus that lives on the ocean bottom, might re-awaken.

He didn't answer questions about grass, sex, or The Elder Ones. Damn man, where are your priorities?

2 comments:

Nancy Dancehall said...

When I first read the title of this post, I thought, "Hmm. I see Irrelephant's been hittin' the Hentai." Yet the truth is even stranger...

Irrelephant said...

Isn't it though? That's the fun behind using the truth--it's always better than lying. *grin*