Oct 21, 2006

The Last Dance

Okay, so The First Dance isn't as poetic, but it's more accurate. My daughter, a proud 6th grader, went to her first dance Friday night. My little girl is a big girl now.

This is freaking me out.

She dressed up in a pretty dress, had her hair in a discreet bun, we packed into the car, I drove to her school, and what was the first thing I saw? Two little girls her age, dressed like they were going to work the corner of 10th and Sepulveda. Three inch heels, low-cut backs, and more makeup than Little Richard.

Okay, so now, to be fair, I never attended a single dance when I was in school. Nevermind why, I just never went. But I DO recall girls from back then, and NONE of them dressed, spoke, or flaunted it like that. And it went on. I almost turned around and dragged her back to the car, but braced myself and went on.

See, I was chaparoning. I had no intention of being turned into a door guard/bouncer, but I guess they figured that my no-nonsense approach ("The dancefloor is THAT way, fella") would serve to keep teens from roaming into and out of the dance. Which it did. There ARE benefits to being able to fill an entire door frame by yourself.

What I'm still pondering is the things I saw:


  • Boys dressed in tuxedos, including gloves and cane. I thought this was a dance, not the Oscar Awards.
  • Girls dressed in prom dresses, or less. Uhm...kid? This is a dance, not a wedding, and you're 12 years old. Concentrate on hanging on to that virginity just a FEW more years, 'kay?
  • Girls acting like Flea. Leaping around, slamming themselves into walls, screeching. I kept looking for the mosh pit.
  • Skimpy dressed. Uhm...see above. You're KIDS, why aren't you acting like it? And parents? Girls that age don't need to be showing cleavage. Most of them don't even HAVE enough to fill that dress, so why are you letting them flaunt it?
  • Language. If my daughter used some of the words I heard those kids utter in front of me I would have slapped her lips clean off her face. And these kids were saying it front of TEACHERS. Who ignored it.
  • Flava Flav. I swear, one kid dressed like he was going to be Public Enemy's new frontman, version 2.0.
  • Tribal behaviour. Now I know this might push the edge of not being racist, but there were several songs that had the effect of turning a loose group of kids into a leaping, chanting, aboriginal knot. This kind of scared me. All they neeed was less clothing, more body paint, a few spears and zebra-hide shields and a National Geographic photographer and they'd have been pure Watusi.


So anyway, it's over now, my daughter had her heart broken by some punk-ass 6th grader who asked her to dance and, after she accepted, turned to another girl and left with HER, so I've already got my Shit List started. Just let me find out this kid's name.

My daughter is the only thing in life that I'll go back to jail for.

3 comments:

Nancy Dancehall said...

Life's hell at that age.

Back to jail? Now there's a story asking to be told.

Anonymous said...

Flava Flav didn't ask E to dance did he? Because he can be easily reached via VH1 and put to death.

Daydream believer said...

The times they are a changin' huh? My sixth grade dance -- hardly anyone danced we all kind of lined the walls and/or danced with same-sex groups.

*gag* I'm getting old and sound like my granmother.

What do we expect when today's "fashion dolls" aka "barbies" are nothing more than plastic barflies dressed to go to the "dance party" (clubbing)

It's great fun to be a parent in this era.

:)