Oct 18, 2006

Nurses Say The Darndest Things

Overheard this morning:

New Lady Nurse: Did you hear they took out Mr. X by boat yesterday? His road flooded out real bad, ten feet by twenty or so, a whole section. I hate that.
P-Diddy: Yeah, that's way out in the country, isn't it, back there past Ytown?
NLN: Yeah. That was a good place to pee, too. There used to be a rest area out there.
P-D: *thinking for just a moment* You know, I used that place a lot, but I can imagine it's a lot tougher for you than for us men.
NLN: You just learn to deal with it.

You gotta admire field nurses. They may at times be thick as a block of lead and as sharp as a marble but they sure know how to take care of business.


Stucco said...

I don't know if I'd say my hearing has always been bad, or if it's all a matter of my unwillingness to pay attention, but I overhear things frequently that pique my interest and then as I strain to hear better, things get weirder. In my youth I heard a nurse talking to someone about how to deal with a male patient presenting an unwelcome erection, and I could swear to you that she said the best practice was to hit said erection with a spoon. I mean, what the hell is that supposed to do?

This may also help shed light on how I ended up the way I did....

Schmoopie said...

That's why Stucco hates hospitals so much, Irrelephant!

Irrelephant said...

Schmoop dear, I can certainly see why! Me, I tell the staff all the time that if I'm ever on home health I don't want ANY of them coming to my house.

Stucco, that 'splains a lot. I've been told by Old Grey Mare that the hospital-approved method is to grab the offending member in one hand, leaving the head sticking just above the fist, and strike firmly *heh* with the free hand, open-palmed. This causes the member to detumesce.

If someone did that to me I think I'd NEED a hospital. And a restraining order to keep from killing the offender. That just ain't right!