Nov 14, 2006

Interpretatio Vitae*

It being the aftermath of the end of the world, I think it's time for a new career path.

Yes, that's right. I'm just about to start living my dream of travelling the world over, visiting four- and five-star hotels around the globe, with the sole intention not of checking in but only to hang about in their lobbies, gathering research material for my ten-volume opus magnum; "Great Hotel Lobbies I Have Known."

I've already got a sizeable grant from a major pamphlet company.

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* Roughly translated, "The Meaning Of Life." Other scholars insist that this is a misconstrual of the original root Latin, and that the phrase's exact translation is: "Handcuffed to a pyramid, the ant thirsted."

9 comments:

whitey said...

Not a bad gig. Could be public restrooms...

Nancy Dancehall said...

Have you been talking to the folks from International Living again?

Scott from Oregon said...

I always wanted to fill a bug spayer up with suntan oil and spray he girls on the beach for a dollar... ok fifty cents... ok I'll pay, just name the price...

That sort of job.

Scott from Oregon said...

not "he girls", THE girls

All the difference

Nancy Dancehall said...

LOL

Stucco said...

Be sure to pick up things like bric-a-brac and study them with a quizzical look on your face, then boldly announce "not like that!" to no one in particular.

You may want a stopwatch, notepad, and GPS also- just to make it look technical and skilled. If people ask you anything, reply "Pre si da, presio lat" point north. Be prepared to hand out cheese slices if confronted.

Anonymous said...

Can I be your luggage caddy?

Irrelephant said...

Whitey, unfortunately I already know WAY too much about public restrooms, in my quest for my own personal unicorn--a clean service station restroom.

Nancy, I haven't spoken to anyone in years, that's the sad part.

Thanks for the clarification, Scott--I was really worried for a moment there. Thought things had turned awfully adult there for a moment.

Stucco, I'll have to take that into account! I've always stuck with the tried-and-true: speaking in A VERY LOUD VOICE to anyone who is not English, since volume makes up for language barriers.

VW, only if you dress up in safari khakis and a pith helmet, so that you look like you've just returned from British-held India.

LadyBorzoi said...

Start with the Shepherd's Hotel in Cairo - that would be the first for me, I think - once that time machine in my garage is complete