Nov 10, 2006

"Mister Watson, Come Here! I Need You!

I've spilled acid on my nuts!"

Okay, so maybe old Alex Bell didn't quite say it THAT way, but it makes for a fun image, don't it?

Yup, you got it, it's new cellular phone time. The contract with Sprint had expired and I wasted no time in proceeding to drop them like a horny porcupine in favor of another carrier. One with cooler phones.

Yes, I'm talking about me some SLVR LM7. A black chunk of plastic and glass that looks like something straight out of a cyberpunk novel. In fact I seem to recall a passage in one of His stories about someone holding up a featureless black slab of plastic to his ear, and that's what this phone reminds me of--minimal surface features, satin black finish all over, and when it's in sleep mode all lights go off and you're left with what is, for all accounts and intentions a featureless, inert black slab of plastic, so I happily tell everyone that my new phone is very Gibsonesque.

Is that the term? Gibsonesque? Gibsonian? Gibsian? Beats me. Anyway...

When I unpacked the phone from it's gigantic box I was astounded at how self-contained it actually was. It's instruction manual was three times as thick and four times bigger than it is. The rest of the box was taken up with accessories and plugs and USB-enabled...things. I could not have been more pleased or surprised if one of Kubrik's monkeys had just knukled up, tugged on my shirt-sleeve with one grubby paw and handed me a miniature version of the Monolith from "2001: A Space Odyssey." It looks a lot like that enigmatic teaching machine from Clarke's novel as well as the intriguingly uncommunicative matte black chunk that served as that movie's supporting actor. You know, I haven't measured it yet, but I have to wonder if my new SLVR's dimensions are derivative of the squares of the first three numbers...one by four by nine.

*manipulating my phone's inert black surface carefully*



"My God, it's full of stars..."

7 comments:

Nancy Dancehall said...

Yes, but does it have a meat jack?

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Nancy Dancehall said...

*sniff sniff*

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Anonymous said...

And the picture quality, my god, it's friggin' awesome! Shittin' things got a high-meg digi-cam on board. Saaaa-weeeeeeeeeeeet!!!!

Irrelephant said...

Unfortunately Nancy, the meatjack was a three hundred dollar elective surgery option, and I simply couldn't afford it. And yes, I took off the anti-spam fighting thing since someone from a spam message told me that I would get more traffic if I made it easier for folk to post here, and see what it got me?

VW is right, I was fiddling around with it yesterday, playing with the video camera option. Video Camera. Nuts.

One of the posts I mentally blogged yesterday was about phones being implanted in people and how bloody close it is to being reality, but I didn't. See Sunday am post.

The Ivory Pen said...

I remember those stars...

Anonymous said...

I got that phone about 2 weeks ago. I love it. :D