Dec 8, 2006

Fahrenheit? Celcius? Wha?

Firefighters are starting to worry me.

Lemme 'splain.

I think these guys are simply using the tidal wave of popularity, post 9/11, to set in motion their own ways, means, plans and policies.

Lemme 'splain better.

Ours is a little town. I live on the outlying edge of the city, but we're lucky (?) enough to have a little two-engine station right at the end of our road. Now ordinarily I never see these guys doing anything but playing football, watching TV in their big firehouses or cooking on giant, industrial-size barbeque pits, or all three at the same time. I used to never see them fighting fires.

"Used to," until a few years ago. Seems that one winter a few years passed I started noticing these guys at fires all over the place.

Anyone noticing a trend here? Formerly, no fires, no firemen. Suddenly now there are fires occuring so thick and fast that you can't swing an extinguisher by the tail without hitting a house fire. AND THERE'S ALWAYS FIREMEN THERE.

My idea? These guys, caught up in the patriotic, fire fighter popularity surge are causing fires, just to make sure they keep their cush jobs and keep that fervor for all things firefighter tweaked to a near explosive pitch. They want to ensure the existence of their jobs, with their attendant big firehouses, their chrome and glass barbeque pits, and their real genuine faux pigskin footballs. So now they're setting fires all over the dang place, so that everyone will cheer when they arrive and toss these sweaty, sooty men gifts of food and all the best virgins.

Yeah, I'm on to them now. Watch my house catch fire any day now.

No comments: