Jun 5, 2007

Gregorian Be Damned, I've Been Robbed!

I have this desk calendar on my desk, see? A big paper one with large blue squares for the days, plenty of room in the margins for doodling and memory enhancement (notes,) holidays highlighted in red, and it's got big cheerful blue Sans Serif numbers for every day, placed carefully in the upper left corner of every day block. It's also got something today that I've been looking forward to for months.

Today, it tells me, is June the 56th.

Now far be it from me to have flights of fancy (or fancy flights, or even flancy fights,) but I thought for sure that something incredible, something around which my mind could build a landmark for the rest of my life would occur on June the 56th, 2007, that most indominitable of days, the most rare of 24 hour periods (occuring only once every Forever,) but no, nothing thus far.

So tell me, before the anticipation makes me rupture an O-ring: If you had Your Way With Things, what would happen today, June the 56th, 2007?

11 comments:

meno said...

Ask me again what should happen on the 69th. :D

Scott from Oregon said...

I'd make your blog roll...

Irrelephant said...

Meno, making Scott's wish come true was a heck of a lot easier. Er, maybe you ought to get with Mr. Meno about your wish. *grin*

Stucco said...

The President, Vice-President, and assorted cabinet members arrested and arraigned on collectively 56 felony charges? Pretty please?

Jay said...

I'll just be glad I'm not back in school, when we were forced to write the date at the top of every page:

mercredi, le cinquante-six juin, 2007

Talk about writer's cramp!

Irrelephant said...

*lol* I guess we need to thank our lucky stars that the 56th only comes once, Jay.

Vulgar Wizard said...

The lazy-eyed tow truck driver would shit his pants in front of a hot young lady whose car he has to tow, and she would point at him and laugh like that kid on the Simpsons and say something mean like "you'd better keep your lazy eye on your bowels there, shitpants."

Scott from Oregon said...

Ever drive the last twenty miles to your house with a big poop sitting in the lowest part of your rectum pushing on the gate?

You wriggle and run, tight-assed to the front door, you fumble with the keys, you get in and sort of waddle to the nearest toilet, knowing you've got poop touching skivvies?

You drop 'em and the splash wets the back of your neck, and you look in your skivvies and see a tell-tale brown and glistening dot, but you are esctatic that you can still wear the guys because, frankly, you've seen brief streaks way worse?

THAT'S how I felt seeing my link on your blog roll!

Woohoohoo!

Irrelephant said...

Wow. Scott, I can honestly say that I don't know WHAT to say to that, except "you're welcome?"

*LMAO*

Maggie said...

World peace, end world hunger and all children learn to read. Oh wait, that was my Miss America speech.

A miracle on 56th day. Perhaps the cracks of hell could open and deep from the crevesce of earth's underbelly a snakelike tongue of the devil would slither up and suddenly the evil in this world, including one paranoid warmongering leader, would disappear. It could happen right? As long as Buffy doesn't show up and save their sorry asses and fight off the devil.
It would have all gone right if it weren't for you damn slayers!

Nancy Dancehall said...

Annah ages 11 days, but gets pregnant. Az is equally thrilled and terrified.

Yeah. Nobody gets that but me. And I didn't know it 'til now. Thanks. :-)