Jul 9, 2007

The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown Down!

Yup, I broke. Gave in. Jean has tossed down the meme gauntlet and I figured if meme-hater Stucco could man up and post one then I could, too.

So. Jean, this meme's for you.

Here's the rules thingies.

1. Post the rules for the meme at the beginning of your post.
Okay, I done that.

2. This meme consists of the blogger listing eight random facts/habits about themselves.
This oughta be good. Is truth required?

3. People who are tagged in this post are to write their own post listing their own eight random items and list the rules.
Er...yeah, factual. Gotcha.

4. At the end of the post/meme, list the folks you are tagging and leave them notice of such in their comments.
How about I just throw it open for anyone who is feeling particularly open, sharing or willing to accept the consequences of pouring their fictious hearts out on their blog?

Eight. Cripes. I wish I could go back and find my 101 things post and sort of scalp out of there. *lol*

  1. I have a profoundly marked Jewish accent, but it was replaced by a soft, barely noticable southern accent by Catholic nuns at my first school by repeated applications of burning cigarettes to my ribcage whenever I said "Oy!" or "chutzpah" or "We killed Jesus!" I'm very proud of my flawless "ya'll."

  2. There is a part of me that really wants to be offensive, rude, raw and otherwise a ruffian and/or a scoundrel both in public and here on my own little square foot of internets but I'm equal parts too polite and too ashamed of appearing the fool for it to stick. That and I'm enrolled in the FBI's Federal Witness Protection Program so I can't be saying the things I want to in public as they will out me immediately.

  3. I didn't know until yesterday that it was my maternal grandfather who accidentally set the fire that burned their house to the ground when my mother was a child. The truth of it is almost more absurd than any lie I could make up: He was brushing hot paraffin wax onto the new canvas roof for his schoolbus at the time. Said canvas top was unrolled from the kitchen to the living room. When he went to reheat the bucket of paraffin at the stove the bucket lit on fire, and when he ran to the door to fling the burning bucket out into the yard he sat it down to reach the latch, but it tipped over and onto the canvas, igniting the entire works, which resulted in the house burning to the ground. No one was harmed in the fire, but everything the family owned except for two pet birds were lost.

  4. I'm certain now that when I was a young boy I was suffering from a borderline case of Tourette's Syndrome. Not the barking and cursing but the obsessive desire for rythmic movements of my extremities. I credit this time with teaching me how to lick my own eyebrows.

  5. I try my best to not recommend books to anyone, which is something I learned in a book which I will not recommend here even though it's an excellent guide for gentlemanly behaviour. Take THAT, word of mouth sellling.

  6. Standing here at the middle point of my life I realise I still don't have the foggiest idea of what I want to do with my life. At times I'm terrified that all I'm doing is stumbling along hoping something will happen to point me in the right direction. At other times I'm ready to accept the fact that my life isn't REQUIRED to have meaning other than being a catalyst for someone else to invent the Hugo Gernsback future I've been waiting patiently for all these years. Anyway, I look terrible in plastic sandals and a kilt, and personal helicopters fill me with unreasoning fear.

  7. One of the brightest days in my life was the day that I finally realised that my Hugo Gernsback Future is already here, though it looks a hell of a lot more like the bastard son of William Gibson and George Orwell, only without the talking pigs and the implanted sunglasses.

  8. Eight already? Hmmm. I was crushed when as a child I learned that most of the voyages of Sinbad the sailor are just bastardized versions of stories from The Odyssey. The day I realised that Talos the triple iron golem from AD&D's Monster Manual was also stolen from The Odyssey I was even further crushed. The day I realised that Gary Gygax, creater of Dungeons And Dragons was just a fat, obsessive fanboy like myself (only tons richer) made it all better.


meno said...

You are SUCH a geek! I like that in a person.

Irrelephant said...

Meno, I'll admit this to you and only you: Not only did I play D&D slavishly for almost twenty years I was a DM for eighteen of those. Word got out that I was good at storytelling, and well, it was all over.

My proudest moment? Bringing three different players to open tears when I killed off a favourite non-player character from my/their world. When I saw that I knew I had something going for me.

And then I lost my virginity and.... *lol*

Irrelephant said...

And yes, I've still got all my books (original yellow-band editions,) my little black bag of dice and about three hundred lead miniatures.

Mickelodeon said...

Awesomely funny list, especially the bit about the Jewish accent, "We killed Jesus!" Put me immediately in mind of "The Life of Brian," when he informs his mother he's a Red Sea Pedestrian. LOL!

Mickelodeon said...

PS: Romans, go home!

Stucco said...

1.) We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front.. Cawr..."
2.) I'm from Vulgaria, and I'm here to help.
3.) You'd think he'd have come up with a better alibi.
4.) Puke! Penis shitsack titty fart! Semprini!
5.) Don't want people to know what you're reading, eh?
6.) Why are you so worked up about "being" something or another? Get in touch with your inner Homer, and be at one with a donut. Then have a nap.
7.) I was actually thinking that reality was more Vonnegut-esque than I'd suspected.
8.) I can't help you with the D&D stuff. I was too interested in loose women to do that stuff.

Jean said...

You are such a treat! Excellent. Thanks :)

Nancy Dancehall said...

Wow; everybody's been tagged with this thing but me. I guess I wash my hands too much.

Does Thac0 ring a bell? I corrupted a bunch of my sorority sisters and we gamed with handful of guys every weekend. Then we had pillow fights. Those were some lucky guys. Greek geeks rule.

Maggie said...

You once again have got me laughing. But hey I gotta say, if you don't recommend books, how will I know all the good stuff to read?

I nominated you for the Rockin Girl Blogger award. I know you're not a girl, but you still rock. I wasn't sure if you'd been given it yet, so there you are.

Maggie said...

Ok well now that I've actually opened my eyes while gazing at your blog I see that you have received it and what a stellar image for it. Did you make that?

Irrelephant said...

Maggie, I could receive no higher compliment that to hear that I can make you laugh.

And while I'm not a girl I do sincerely appreciate the nomination! Perhaps I can post that one, too. *lol* Meno tapped me for the gender-changed Rockin award, and yes, I fear I spent the better part of an hour of my life trying to get just the right touch of whimsy with serious rockin' power on that little button. Glad you like it!

Jay said...

That was the best kind of random.

Maggie said...

Well I especially enjoy the touch of geekdom thrown in there.

Irrelephant said...

Wasn't it though, Jay? *grin* One year in the height of my D&D passion I actually built a little balsa wood tower with ledges and such inside (covered in felt) to shake dice for me. All I had to do was drop it in top and it'd pachinko ball it's way down to a little catch tray at the bottom. My GOD I was a geek. *lol*

Maggie, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I must say I'm astounded at the amount of positive response it's elicited.

Blogging Geeks Of The World, UNITE!

Vulgar Wizard said...

1. False.
2. True.
3. WTF?
4. Partially false; doesn't lick own eyebrows but bounces on ball of foot while seated without stopping for hours.
5. What-EVE! False! You tell me to read shit all the time, I just don't do it.
6. True, and I will now search high and low at BigLots for jellies in your size.
7. I know none of these names well enough to decide whether or not this statement is true.
8. True.