Oct 1, 2007

Cantonese Conundrum

Today at lunch I headed to the office kitchenette to boil some water for tea, and I couldn't help but notice that one of the office folk was microwaving a little chinese take-out style box.

When he was done with his nuking I popped my cup of water in to bring it to a boil, and while I waited I noticed that the box top was extolling me to "Bring The Orient Home Tonite!"

But you know, I don't think I can do that. I mean, for one I don't have the spare room cleaned, and I'd need at least that much room for the Orient to stay over. And every time I've brought the Orient home it's never once offered to pay for gas, and it's always wanting to eat out. Plus the last time I brought the Orient home we had all been drinking and it threw up half-cooked rice mixed with some Schezuan beer all over my new couch. It still smells of Twice Cooked Pork and really cheap cologne on humid days.

So no, I don't think I shall be bringing the Orient home tonight nor any other night in the forseeable future. Of course, if the Orient had a pretty sister...


Wayfarer Scientista said...

thanks for the laugh...i needed that.

Maggie said...

Cracked me up.

You know, I've found that the Orient is also not very nice smelling usually. I think it has a hygeine problem.

Jean said...

Even IF the Orient had a pretty sister... there is MRS. Irrelephant!

Schmoopie said...


Nancy Dancehall said...

Yeah, and then half an hour after the Orient has left, you want it back again. What's up with that?

And while the Orient visits, it makes a point of talking about itself - its wants, its needs, its feelings - in an oration I like to call, the Orient Express.

*running for cover*

meno said...

And the Orient always wants to watch bad movies and never what i want to watch.

Thanks for the giggle.

Irrelephant said...

WS, you're quite welcome. We all need a goof around at times, happy I could fill that role.

Maggie, it might well. That might explain the gallons of cheap cologne it always leaves in the bathroom.

Jean, there is, but you know what they say about those Oriental women. *lol*

Schmoop, that sounds like the content noise someone makes after having just finished the Giant Panda Family Dinner. With soup and eggroll. *wink*

Nancy, I'm glad someone went there. Now I'm off the hook for Worst Joke On The Internet. And yes, you'd better run for cover. Someone's liable to get riled up over that one. *lol*

Meno, it's always those badly-dubbed ones too, isn't it? Full of talking and no action.

And you're quite welcome. *smile*