Nov 20, 2007

Sometimes The Bear Bites You

I have had a REALLY bad day today.

It started off last week with the boss chewing me out, except when this boss chews it's more like being pecked to death by a duck. She can't just come out and say something, she has to say it over and over. She loves to use the phrase "you understand?" to punctuate sentences, and best of all, she doesn't LISTEN.

So anyway, I left at 5 in a foul mood. Would have been speeding if I hadn't been in the truck, but she simply isn't ABLE to speed, so at least I was saved that. But still and all, I was distracted. It was getting on dark, it was damp out, and I wasn't concentrating.

I rear-ended a car.

Now, I've been in wrecks before, unfortunately a lot of them back when I was a teen, so I knew the drill. I grabbed my insurance stuff and license and got out of the truck to see how bad the damage was. I should have known it was going to be bad when I saw the handicapped plates, but didn't think anything of it at first. As I was checking out the front end and realising how bad it was the driver got out of the other car. Kids, I freaked smooth out--he was a DWARF!

He sort of shambled back to me, got right up on me, looked up and in a really loud voice said "I am NOT happy!"

So I said, "Well then, which of the seven ARE you?"

And that's how the fight started...


Jean said...

did he hurt your kneecaps?

Saw a poster that said..."Some days, it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps!"

Poor man, that sounds like your day. Hope you get a long, peaceful weekend!

Shao said...

An excellent re-telling of an oooold tale.

Nancy Dancehall said...

Dang it, you got me again. And I am not happy either... ;-)

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh good grief, was I ever suckered in on that. LOL!!

Gordo The Geek said...

Man, oh man ... Thank you. :-D

meno said...

I am Happy!

How i wish this were true, except for the part where you rear end someone and get pecked out by the boss.

Irrelephant said...

Jean, I've seen that one, and I really feel it most days here of late. *lol*

Thanx, Shao. I've been digging up some of that old gold and dusting it off. There's no dog like an old dog.

Nancy, there is no higher praise than knowing I fooled ya. And anyway you're much to thin to be a dwarf. And last photo I saw of you? Looks like you really need to work on that beard, because you're wayyyy behind schedule.

Joan, I love it! In my, storytelling, I've learned that simpler is better. Hit 'em sharp and fast and get the hell out of the way. *g*

Gordo, you're quite welcome! Thank YOU for falling for my sincere smile and honest voice.

Meno, you're a goof, and you know it. And at 6' whatever you're still a lovely lady and you know it.

Pq said...

Thank goodness Shao let me know it was an old tale. I was about to call you guys and make sure you were ok! You got me! :)

Jean said...

Oh, you booger! You had me duped until I came back to check comments *blushing* .

Vulgar Wizard said...

*groan* . . . I knew this was bull, you would have called me when you got home, I would have seen it because I left shortly after you did, or you would have told me Wednesday morning. HOWEVER, I didn't know where you were going until I saw "dwarf". hehehe

JustCallMeJo said...


Love it.