Jan 9, 2008

Where Am I?

And why does my arse hurt so much?

I'm tired of my job. That's putting it politely. To put it coarsely I'm sick to fucking death of the place.

A while back I used to gripe fairly freely about work, but honestly I started feeling a little bad about it. Not about dogging the company I work for (there's not a chance of me damaging a Fortune 500 Best Small Company with my few words.) I felt bad because I was raised not to bite the hand that feeds not only me but my family. So, I stopped. Like a good American Male I simply bottled most of it up, letting vent only when the pressure was at eye-ball bursting point.

Consider this a little occular strain reduction.

For those of you who just joined the incredible three-ring party that is Q: What's Large, Grey and Doesn't Matter, the blogger known only as Vulgar Wizard used to be my boss. That's right boys and squirrels, Used To Be. She finally got out, you see. Bravely enough she jumped out of the airplane without a parachute of any metallic hue whatsoever. And yesterday she landed a cherry job. For the State. Yeah girl, you go. State benefits, retirement plan, and it's nearly impossible to get fired. Damn, how could you ask for more?

That move I think was the straw that broke this irrelephant's back. It gave me the strength of will to get up off my own large grey arse and get moving, get looking seriously. Thus far I've put out about eight applications/resumes and been turned down by the Kansas City Southern railroad company re: my application for a "Foreman General JA10437" which surprisingly doesn't involve a sharp uniform or an aide de camp but does involve driving one of those pickup trucks with the optional steel wheels along miles of railroad track checking for abnormalities, damage or willing vestal virgins.

Hey, hope springs eternal, right?

Tonight at some point I get my hand steady and finish filling out my SF-10 and stick in all the pertinent info like my last seventy jobs and my college hours earned and how many times I've robbed Quick-E-Marts and been caught, then sneak that bad boy into the office and make about a thousand copies to send off for what the State calls Series 7333 jobs--office, clerical, admin. M-F, 8-5.

Oh, and one to the DOT for that Heavy Equipment Operator job they've got open. I could drive a dozer. Yeah boy!

It's time for a change, kids. I thought this new boss was going to be the firm hand on the ship's wheel we needed. What we got instead is a captain who is such a control freak that when she tells you to scrub out the heads she wants to tell you how to hold your mouth while you do it. To add insult to injury she's busy filling the office with her cronies, little sycophants who are perfectly willing to squat under her shadow and be her puppets. Nooooo, not for The Kid, thanks. I'm outta here.

The best part? People asking me "Are you looking for another job?" with that sort of probing, 'is there hope you'll stay and suffer with me' look. I look them straight in the eye and say "Oh no, not me, I'm here for the long haul" with all the sincerity I can muster. See, I know that my absence as a person won't be grieved for long, but I also know that I'm even now in the process of destroying the tons of operational paperwork I've painstakingly gathered to help even a blind chimp to do my job. When I leave it'll be with all of my formidable knowledge of my job in my head and not passed onto another employee and all the carefully gathered paperwork shredded or burnt: let THEM struggle to find it like I had to. One week's notice is going to be plenty for me, you see, if I give them that much, and the only other person in the office who does the 'same' job as I is a lazy slacker who isn't making any effort to learn now, so why should she later?

When VW left the office it crippled our administrative operations for weeks; the boss' fault for not training someone during the three-week notice that VW gave. When I leave I hope to have at least that much impact if not more. I hope the Xian god she so loves to call on helps her out of this one because it's certain that I'm not going to, and I'm going to toss her in the deepest hole I can dig before I walk off with a smile.

Kick even the most loyal dog enough times and it'll draw blood before it leaves your ass.


Gordo said...

Man, I so want to be able to drive one of those trucks on the tracks. The latest job that I lust after is the guy who sets the blasting charges on the construction site near my office. How could would it be to move 100 tons of rock with a button-push?

I left my last job with two-day's notice and no notes. It was one of those "quit before they carve your job out from under you deals" and it literally took two years to get used to people thanking me for doing my job. What kind of damage is that?

As I said to my wife at the time: "Being needed is great. Being indispensable truly sucks." I endured 2-3 emails per week from my f*uckwit replacement for a month before I started telling him to google things. I'm not indispensable any more and it's the best feeling in the world.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh, darlin'! I feel your pain.

Hope it goes well.

I liked so many things about my job, but it was the worst career move I've ever made. A bad misstep and I stuck it out for 14 months. Time to move on. Not whining, but a woman's viability in the workplace diminishes about 10 years before a man's.

I had great co-workers, just a primitive work environment. I knew if I didn't leave soon, I'd be stuck there only to watch my stock-in-trade evaporate. Can't afford it. *sigh*

Good luck...

Stucco said...

You only get the one life, you know? Go snorkeling in drawn butter or spank yourself while in line at the post office. Flick boogers. Have stories to tell.

Mona Buonanotte said...

Is that a can o' whoop-ass I hear openin' up??! Woo-yeah!

And I'm thinking, seriously, that you wouldn't want a vestal virgin...they wouldn't know how to "please" you, and what's the fun in that? You could teach 'em, sure, but wouldn't you want a bad girl instead? I would. Raow!

Bob said...

when you leave you can offer to help them - at contractor hourly rates.

I'm sortof in the same position here - no one, not even in the user community, has the knowledge I do. However, my boss knows and appreciates it. He's protected me from a series of layoffs and has given me raises when no one else did.

He's about to retire, so it's time for me to polish my resume.

Jean said...

Well, dear man, it sounds like you gave the new boss more than enough time to get her shit together.
Time for yours.
Good luck with the search.
You deserve something really, really great!

Nancy Dancehall said...

Yes! Get the HELL out of there! You deserve so much better. You need to be someplace where you are appreciated, my dear.

Maggie said...

I like it when you get your growl on...

Irrelephant said...

Wow...I'm surprised at the amount of feedback this generated!

Gordo, I found out the day after I applied (online) with KCS that I wasn't required. *sigh* Ah the joys of the internet age--refused for a job and never saw nor heard a single human. As for the emails for support? Methinks I'd tell them to eff off. *s*

Joan, I can say this for my current job--it got me out of my retail career. That ALMOST makes it workwhile.

Stucco, I've got stories, but none of them involve butter... fortunately. *lol*

Mona, you're right on both counts. *wicked grin* Shaking that can even as we speak. As for the virgin? Never had one myself, but I think they're like cars without power steering--everyone needs to drive one just once, to know what it's like. *lol*

Bob, I PROFOUNDLY envy you that boss--the last three jobs I've had I've felt driven away from them because I've had gutless bosses who are too afraid to help or protect their assets when the mouth-breathers are bringing the place down. My current one has an angel over HIM, but is he passing down the golden light? *snort* Not likely.

Jean, I fear I gave her way too much of my time and efforts. I'm sincerely hoping the next jump is the last one, I'm tired of this constant restarting.

Nancy, I'm a goner the first moment I get an opening. Trust me on that. *g*

Maggie! Are you flirting? *lol* I'm very much (and proudly) like my father--quiet for a very long time, right up until the very end.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

I'm with you on this one, all the way (except for the vestal virgins, you're on your own there, sorry buddy), but there's just one thing I can figure out.

How did my office manager become omnipotent? How'd she get to control your office too? She's everywhere!

It's a sign of the apocolypse.

run fast.

Scarlett & V.

Vulgar Wizard said...


Vulgar Wizard said...

Wait, is this directed at ME? "Bob, I PROFOUNDLY envy you that boss--the last three jobs I've had I've felt driven away from them because I've had gutless bosses who are too afraid to help or protect their assets when the mouth-breathers are bringing the place down. My current one has an angel over HIM, but is he passing down the golden light? *snort* Not likely." I will rape you, kill you, and steal your costume, sir. In no particular order.

Irrelephant said...

Scarlett, I'm applying as fast as my modem will let me. *G*

VW, I was referring to Adrenaline Junkie, RN, not you ya turd! You watched out for me as best you could, but we had no-one over US.