Mar 22, 2008

Happy Ether!

It's that time of year--time for a giant, mutant rabbit who walks on his hind legs to come and knock you out with an antiquated anesthetic and hide brightly-coloured eggs in very uncomfortable places.

Vincent wanted me to say right up front that a) no animals were harmed and no eggs were wasted in the making of this post, b) all eggs used in this holiday will be eaten and c) those cute little baby chicks that have been airbrushed various cute colours will sometimes grow up to be giant angry roosters.

Case in point:

The egg-dying happened tonite in the Irrelephant household. Parents, as a life lesson, thirteen is NOT too old to dye eggs.

Even if your favourite article of clothing is a pink zippered hoodie with black skull-n-crossbones pattern all over it. Nor is it out of line to let one of your cats sit at the table while you engage in dyeing activities.

Face it, there's just something fun (and photogenic) about brightly-coloured eggs, even if it's a travesty to buy medium, white eggs from the grocery store when you have a yard-full of chickens who produce 17 eggs A DAY.

My argument was that using tan as a base coat is rather like using grey gesso on a canvas--it can be done, but you gotta really know what you're doing.

And, as is patently obvious from the following photos, we do NOT know what we're doing. Let a single Sharpie marker get onto the table during the egg-decorating and there's no telling WHAT is going to happen.

El Pollo Loco, wanted for infecting a fellow Mexican wrestler with salmonella while in the ring.

Like I said, the Chicken Liberation Front had a few strong things to say about my choice to start with white, factory-produced eggs.

It's hard to see, but he's got a little automatic pistol and a bag of cash.

What is he rebelling against? What have you got?

Before I forget, tomorrow being The Easter Day and family being what it is, I have two, count 'em TWO Easter meals to eat, one at each family's home, so The Irrelephant Show will be on hiatus tomorrow, to return next week at a new time to be announced here, so keep those dialing fingers ready!

Happy Ether, one and all!


meno said...

oh my god. Those eggs are wonderful. I love to decorate eggs, i just can't convince my 17 year old to go along with it.

Nancy Dancehall said...

*snort* You are a sick, sick man. Keep 'em coming!

mickelodeon said...

Thank you for the Easter morning humor! I was never that creative with decorating eggs...maybe I was getting high off the vinegar? Is that even possible? But when Star and Bar are old enough to be trusted with egg dye, I've got some grand ideas now, thanks to your warped head. =)

Jean said...

A double-full belly makes for Happy Ether... not to mention all those craftily crafted eggs :-)

Jean said...

my silly smiley face got broken... damn.

Stucco said...

Fuck! I woke up for nothing!

Vulgar Wizard said...

I need to borrow the bad egg for the office please?

Vulgar Wizard said...

My grandmother dyes eggs using onion peels . . . evidently, "it's how we do it at home," which is Wales for her. They're very pretty but do not vary in color.

Irrelephant said...

Meno, that's a shame, it really is. With Weerelephant growing up so damned fast it's nice to find that there's something she still enjoys doing with her old man, other than taunting me.

Nancy, that's a promise!

Micks, I'm glad I could give you a Bunny Day smile. *grin* Honestly, this is the first year we really got THIS started out as a plain ole box of Paas egg dye, and went terribly, horribly wrong. *lol*

Jean, I almost couldn't button my pants this morning! Is bad!

Stucco, I love you too. *lmao*

VW, it's yours. It hasn't made it into any salad or devilling yet. As for onion peels...what sort of colour would that dye anything? Pale orangish yellow? Ew!

Clowncar said...

Those are cool. El Pollo Loco is awesome.

We're still working on the mechanics of placing the egg in the dye without dropping it, so our eggs were a little more rudimentary here at Chez Clowncar.

Giant mutant bunny, eh? Ever seen Night of the Lepus? I'm guessing you have....

Rayne said...

These are absolutely fantastic eggs!!! The bad egg is my favorite.
We don't dye eggs any more. Katy, the 14 year old, freaks out because the white of the egg picks up color and that makes it a dangerous egg, Michelle, the 18 year old, refuses to eat hard boiled eggs because it's like eating giant eyes, and Scott farts like a drunken tasmanian devil and therefore he's not allowed to eat hard boiled eggs, and I tend to go off on tangents with the dye which scares Scott so I'm not allowed to play with the dye any more. So, it's plastic eggs for the egg hunt now.

Irrelephant said...

Clowncar, you can blame Mrs. I for that one. *lol* She's got a thing for Mexican wrestlers, I think. As for Night...whew. Ranks high up there with Food of The Gods on my Movies That Betrayed My Trust list.

Thank you, Rayne! I've actually considered getting something like that as a tattoo. *lol* I hate to hear that you've got so many... er... issues with dyeing eggs! Me, I LIVE for a good hard-boiled egg--just a tiny dash of salt, and the badder the better. *lol*

Mother of Invention said...

Ah, my world for a Sharpie!!

Too much fun goin' on at your place! Very cool. We did the 2 day-2 family dinners too. Can never have too much ham and scalloped potats!

Irrelephant said...

MoI, I ate and ate and am STILL eating! (Thank giant mutant bunnies for leftovers!)