Mar 20, 2008

Poetry Friday Challenge: P

You know Mona, in the Past you've tossed me complete ringers, let me Pick the word myself (remember "cloud"?) and assigned us words that completely take me by surprise.

Today you've stumped me. *lol*

I could write about Penny the Papillion who often goes by the name "Pee" because of her habits, and because she's a Princess Pup and because her first name was Penny Pocket and has since been changed to Penny Puddles. It would also make Mrs. I ecstatically happy were I to talk about her, but I don't know if I can write a whole Post on a small dog who slides across the floor like a strange, four-legged dust mop when she chases her (very small) toys.

I was going to write about Photography, since I'm a Photographer and love my camera, but I went out this afternoon after work with Vulgar Wizard and her camera, to one of our favourite haunts and saw...nothing. That is to say I took a few nature shots, and took what I think will be a nice open Photo of a seeming tangle of rails, and took Plenty of Photos of graffiti and such, but no trains. Not a signal light winked on, not a single ding-ding sounded at the crossing, not once did we hear the almost-musical humming of new trucks rolling along on steel wheels.

There's always Penis, which leads to Pee, and I could discuss at length (heh) the joys of being a man, of being the Partner who Penetrates, he who gets to enjoy the sense of Power that comes of knowing that the world is my urinal. But you know, the Interwebs is full of Pictures of Penises (Pene?), and hemipenes (I think reptiles get those, that's not OEM for hooman beans) and People of all sorts and kinds doing all sorts of normal and strange and sometimes obscene things with their Penes, so I won't go there. You can Google it if you get bored.

I could speak at some length about being Polysyllabic, about the joy of knowing that sometimes bigger is better (at least when you're carrying on verbal intercourse) but then I'd seem Pedantic, and I don't like that in People. So I'll do as I usually do, which is to Pepper my writing with the occasional five dollar word, and just let anyone accuse me of casting my Pearls before swine, I'll rip their Pancreas out.

There's my real name, the name I was given as an infant, before I had the chance to speak my mind, to offer my opinion, but I'm not going to toss that off. Some of you know it, I've outed myself once or twice and been outed by others at least once that I know of, but *shrug* 'tis neither here nor there. Here, with you, my blog friends, I get to be Irrelephant, he who has a name that is a most foul Pun indeed. I also use the Pseudonym "Gentleman Rook," which is much more akin to my own Persona, at least in spirit but strangely enough it's Irrelephant who gets all the girls, and Gentleman Rook who Posts all the Pictures. Not usually of girls, tho I do like a bit of female Pulchritude once in a while. I even occasionally look at Pr0n.

No Mona, you've got me beat, and this one isn't even as good as the "Creativity" one. Let's face it, I've screwed the Pooch on this one.

9 comments:

Stucco said...

Polish Prince of Penis! I heard a guy with Tourette's say that on TV once as he was in a grocery store, and remembering that makes me think of "The Tourette's Guy" (of the eponymous website tourettesguy.com) who died recently- and that really bums me out, because that guy knew- HE KNEW- about Bob Saget.

He was mowing his yard when bees or something swarmed him and he shouted (as only the truly enlightened would) "Bob Saget!"

Oh, and for one day changing the schedule of the radio show- you may consider a weekend time that'd allow for alcohol consumption.

Maggie said...

Damn and I was really looking forward to a P post from you. Oh well. Sigh.

Clowncar said...

Perfect post! From the post-adolescent pipsqueak of a person pleasing plenty of puerile puppies with passionate patience.

Jean said...

pondering praise...you are profound and prolific!

Vulgar Wizard said...

PIIIISSSSSSSSS!!!!!

He wanted to be called "Leopold".

Mona Buonanotte said...

Wait...wait...talk to me more about your penis...I can't be bothered with Google today....

Irrelephant said...

Stucco, you're still freaking me out. Bob SAGET? Ye gods, it IS the End Times.

I know, Maggie, I failed utterly didn't I? And I didn't even fail spectacularly, it was just sort of a 'pffffffft.'

Clowncar, how long did it take you to assemble that sentence? I'm ASTOUNDED! *lol* And thank you for the high praise, tho I really feel I don't deserve it, not for THAT post.

Jean! Did I hornswaggle you too? I really thought this was more of a cop-out post. Hmmmm.

VW, you are a frekka and you know it!

*lol* Mona, it's pink and quite clean...no wait, that's Dr. Frank-N-Furter from the Rocky Horror. It's prosthetic in some shots and digitally enhanced in others? No wait, that's Dirk Diggler in that movie with the redhead MILF.

Hmmm. I might have to Google it myself.

Mother of Invention said...

Perfect Post-Peppering!

Irrelephant said...

Hah! Thanks, MoI! You guys rebuild faith in my ability!