Somehow BTR had my current and all my upcoming segments marked as half hour shows, so as soon as the show went live I was already halfway done.
BUT! Batgirl was an excellent guest, gave us the entire lowdown on North Cali vs Arizona, went into extensive detail on second-hand superhero gear and even managed twenty two questions out of the one hundred thirty five on the Lightning Round!
In other show news, Stucco taunted us all from Grant's Pass, Oregon's scenic beach. The bastard. But Schmoopie made it all better by giving him such a bitch-slap his photo fell off the wall back at their Seattle abode.
So! Without further ado (since as Americans our attention spans are minute indeed)
- I has an estuary . . . let me show you it!
- Good times.
- The Pacific Ocean is claiming my son’s socks.
- It sounds like Stucco is spinning the Twister wheel.
- What the hell, may I ask, were you doing on my rappel tower?
- This is what not to do, *whoooosh*.
- Is there a big market for second-hand superhero gear?
- In my mind, it’s bad-ass.
- Who’s the arch rival?
- Why don’t you McGuyver some of that shit?
- I’m still working on the infinite number of monkeys/infinite number of typewriters idea.
- Asking for warning labels might be a little preemptive.
- Broke-ass ganstas
- Have we discussed frog butt?
- Turn left NOW!
- Turtle ‘tocks: http://www.flickr.com/photos/vulgarwizard/2598508781/
- Everything’s brown out here.
- California and Oregon are the new Florida?
- Batgirl wears the skin-tight vinyl Batgirl suit, right? Lie to me if you have to.
- Who needs Viagra? Touch a jellyfish to your package.
- Bail out red leader!
- Maybe the Brit chick needs to set her watch.
- Spitening Round!
- I peed in a light socket.
- EVERYTHING GIVES HIM GAS!
- Does this look infected?
- It looks self-inflicted.
- Humping a bus driver, what?
- Don’t worry, Dirty Uncle Jiggles will help you.
- Dropping deuces left and right
- At least it isn’t in my cone.
- Christina Aguilera is straight outta Compton, right?
- She beat her phone into submission.
- Please massa – no mo! I’s be a good phone.
- I already beat the cone into submission. It was a grudge match.
- Put the smack down on that ass!
- Pink is the new black.
- Can I get a mulligan?
- BTR is really starting to chap my cone zone. I’m getting bent here.
- Fuck all that nose. Noise.
- I did most of the inappropriate touching. Scott’s a ho.
- I no need guns.
- I no need hall pass.
- 119 degrees is Nature’s way of saying eff yourself.
- *Schmoopie bitch-slaps Stucco*
- Who the fuck needs a cone?
- Vinyl buttsuit?
- Hit him with the Bible!
- One hotel had the teachings of Buddha.
- We passed a strip club on the way down called Jiggles.
- Home of the Flopper
- With a spoon? Like the ninja nurses do?
- It said, “BJ Cummings.”
- The late Mrs. Swallows
- Sounds like a do-wop band.
- All up in yo ass!
- ou made BTR’s bunghole angry.
- Come out with your pants down!
- That would be me . . . I’m a couple of five-year-olds.
- He needs bag balm.
- If it ain’t something you don’t use on a moustache, he don’t know what it is.
- It's like having another hand on the farm or a helper around the house.
- I first started using this on my mother when
- NEXT WEEK, SIR? I’M NOT SURE I UNDERSTOOD YOU.
- I can haz beech?
- Gestapo Finland?
- There’s always room for Jell-O
Yeah, we missed you too. Join us next week?