If you've ever watched a single ten-minute snippet of The Weather Channel you know who Jim Cantore is. He's a freaking storm magnet. Wherever Jim Cantore goes the storm follows, leaving a trail of complete and utter destruction. Jim Cantore leaves footprints, but they're invariably wiped away by hundred and fifty mile an hour winds, thirty feet of floodwater, lava flows or tornadoes riding piggyback on hurricanes.
Jim Cantore is currently in Houma, La. For those of you who don't know, there's really only two salient facts you need to know about Houma other than it's pronounced HO-muh.
- Houma is about fifty miles off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico, just west of center of the state.
- I was born in Houma almost 41 years ago.
As I stated before, where goeth Cantore, there goeth the storm. Jim Cantore is the embodiment of city-wide eradication. He's everyone's favourite doomsayer, and it's his presence that brings doom. Lots of doom. Truckloads of doom. Oodles of doom.
Jim Cantore is about to get the city of my birth wiped off the face of the Earth.*
* I swear, Cantore, if you come any further north I'm going to go out, storm or no and hunt you down. I'm not about to lose my house (and my chickens) just so you can get a good action shot.