Aug 26, 2009

Jogging Through

Well, not jogging, I don't jog anymore. I wobble, yes. I jiggle, most definitely. Jog? Nah. Maybe joggle.

Anyway.

Just wanted to say that even tho I don't have the prerequisite hour it usually takes me to write a 'for real' blog post I did want to take a few minutes to tell you that things are looking up. I feel better than I have in a long time, thanks to some determined therapy, a slight change in diet and the addition of some all-natural supplements (ie I'm devouring animal glands and so forth. Honest. Ground up, freeze-dried, powdered-and-put-in-a-capsule animal glands. Among other things. Healthy!) The funny thing is, it's actually working. A few days ago An Incident occurred that as little as two weeks ago would have had me crash-and-burning, in a serious depression spiral downward. The moment came, I knew it was going to happen, I started to crash, I clenched for it and...

nothing.

Nothing else happened. I got angry, I got a little anxious, I got a little black-edged, but nothing, far and away NOTHING on how it used to be. I persevered, I made it through the day intact, and came out the other side feeling good enough to hop on the mower, light up a nice big cigar, pop in the earbuds and cut some grass to Steely Dan and Beethoven.

As little as two weeks ago I would have been ruined for the day, if not longer. As little as one week ago I'd have been crushed for the day, struggling under the load of anxiety. That day? Nothing unbearable by any mean. Utterly astounding. I love it.

The best part of it? Fall is coming. I can feel it in the mornings. I can smell it in the air. The October People are coming. I can hear their dry leaf rustling footfalls down the sidewalk. I can smell the cinnamon spice mummy-wrappings of their clothes.

They're coming, and I'm standing here with open arms.

8 comments:

Gordo said...

Wow, that's wonderful news! Care to share what you're taking?

Man, I love fall. This sounds stupid, but do you get leaves changing colour and stuff like that down your way?

Jean said...

I'm with Gordo...share the wonder pills.

Whatever it is that's helping, I'm super-duper glad it is!

Clowncar said...

Glad to see the wind is again filling your sails. I suppose hot air filling your ballon would be more apropos, but it's not as lyrical.

Someone said the first days of fall are like biting into a cold, crisp apple. I agree.

Mickey Glitter said...

*hugs* I'm happy for the turn, for you! =)

Irrelephant said...

Gordo, sadly it doesn't really happen down here, too many evergreens. There's a very few trees around here that do the change thing, but they're so few and far between that it's hard to smear those few little trees out THAT far. *lol*

Jean, I can't tell you how glad I am that I'm finally coming around. I's been gone too long.

Oh I don't know, old bean. I mean, I see a lot of lyricism in ballooning. More every time I go out. :)

*hugs* Me too, Mix. Meeee too.

Okay, in all fairness, I'll also answer the question that has been asked of me by several of you and probably wondered about by the rest. It's not actually meds, it's organic dietary supplements, prescribed to me by a doc in Oregon. Some things for my digestion and my intestinal health, a little something for my adrenal cortex to bump up my energy levels a notch, something to readjust my hypothalamus back to where it should be, and a very small-dose organic lithium, to quieten down the voices that the past few months have been clamorous enough to drown out things like sleep. It's not cheap, and some of it tastes just like the glands from which it's been made but it has done a world of good and best of all, none of it is man-made chemicals with weird side effects. I'm still ME, not some doped zombie version of me.

Nancy Dancehall said...

I love what you say about the October People.

Jessi said...

I'm so glad to hear that you made it through and that you're actually looking forward to what's to come. <3

Vulgar Wizard said...

You can hear the carnies?